Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Is It Wrong That I Kind Of Believe Charlie Sheen?


So, with all of the Charlie Sheen/Tiger Blood/WINNING shit going on last month, I had just recently heard the (apparently well-known) tale that not only were Charlie Sheen and Kelly Preston engaged, but they broke off the engagement after he SHOT HER IN THE ARM in 1990.

Well, when I heard this story I was hungry for more details, but my hunt came up with nothing since both parties had been tight lipped for 20 years. WELL, crack must be a hell of a drug, because he has finally broken his silence.
According to Sheen, (as he said on his My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour) he told Tom Sizemore of all damn people, that John Travolta's wife shot herself. 

Long story short, he said that he was downstairs sipping on his folgers, and he heard a gunshot upstairs [Sidenote: he even made a side-splitting joke that he had initially thought that she'd finally done herself in. Pure hilarity, wow]. Anycrackiehumor, he said he went upstairs to investigate and found her naked and bloody from an accidental ricochet wound that occurred when she had picked up his pants in the bathroom, and his little pocket pistol (gross, not that one) went off.

This sounds slightly plausible to me, which is a little shaming. So far, Preston still hasn't said a word. I find this even more believable considering that Kelly Preston kind of always has that warped brainwashed-Xenu look in her eyes. She makes me uncomfortable. "Yesss, L. Ron Hubbard...." :::as she stares blankly into his scary Jafar stick:::