Thursday, October 6, 2011

Progamming Note

I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but thought I'd post an update. With some life/professional changes, the Smug Tiger has gone on a slightly less smug/equally ridiculous hiatus. If you miss the fuckery and the senseless dribble that spews from my keyboard, you can find me here (Along with my favorite Chola author):

Thanks so much for your support, hope to see you at Don't Cho There!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Today's Birfday: Charlize Theron (36)

Guess what? She's always been super pretty ::girls fighting every grumbling impulse::

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Picture of the Day: Lindsay Lohan in Italian Vanity Fair

Bag. Of. Bones.

Here's some of her interview:

She‘s a good actress: “I want to be an actress and I’m good. You learn from your mistakes, right?”
On jail: “Unless you’re a killer, I don’t see a reason to stay there. I never hurt anyone but myself.”
But she’s promising to get back on track and return to work in the fall. She told the magazine: “In October, I’ll begin work. I hope to spend next year on set.”

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Today's Birfday: Tia & Tamera Mowry (33)

I know, I felt the same way about 'Sister, Sister'.

Odds N' Ends

The evolution of the RiRi (Alien Princess) (Buzznet)

If you look closely, you can see Satan pouring the Cristal (TMZ)

Heidi Klum looks perty (GoFugYourself)

Zacquisha Efron is looking older, which makes me feel more secure that Chris Hanson won't be asking me to "Have a sit" anytime too soon for looking at his glittery Disney nips. Get it, gurl. (DListed)

Really never thought I'd see the day where I could confuse Alex Borstein with Sinead O'Connor (TMZ)

Tiger Blood will gather with the Juggalos (The Superficial)

Celebs, then and now (Buzznet)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Lilo Is 25 And On The Loose!

If you live in the Malibu area, and you noticed last night that your special formulated Ginge-Bronze, home-made hair extensions (cropped from your favorite Repunzel Barbie, thankyouverymuch), and your Sharon Stone-'Basic Instinct' crotch shot dress were missing, then I think you've found your culprit.

Yes, Lindsay Lohan has turned 25 and celebrated at Geoffrey's Restaurant in Malibu last night. It's been a wild ride Lilo; don'chu go changin', pussycat.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Smug Tiger Is Back

Yes, I'm aware that this piece of glittery kaka blog has been absent for a bit, but my ass has been busy moving cross country. So as goes this chill ass lemur's motto, Calm Down Bro.

P.S. George Michael loves you... and rope. Enjoy this wonderful song that has been stuck in my head for the last 10 hours. I would love some feedback on analyzing this music video.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

This Little Boy Vogueing In The 90's May Be The Best Thing Ever...

Here's a video of a 9-year-old-boy (who I'm sure would have been my BFF fo life) in 1991, showing Madonna what her true vision was when this song was recorded. This is a world full of YES.

CLICK HERE to watch magic!

Today's Birfday: Jason Mewes (aka Jay of Jay and Silent Bob) [37]

Hasn't Shania Been Through ENOUGH?!

 In the 90's, Shania Twain was one of the few Country stars that didn't make my fro itch (However, Garth Brooks' music videos were slightly amazing/hilarious/epic).
Back to Shania, she had a super entertaining Behind the Music and she knew how to wear the hell out of animal print (That don't impressa' me much, anyone?)
Well, she's had a rough couple of years career wise, and her best friend/assistant stole her husband (music producer "Mutt" Lange"). Anyway, she found love again in her best friend/assistant's ex-husband (yes, a husband swap; maybe I'm starting to understand what marriage really means..) and she's trying to get her career back on track. So, at the live CMT Awards in Nashville last night, the ground had a nice way of telling her "Bitch, no", and she took a spill and fell down.

Look at how happy and proud she is when she comes out. Her face says "You're gonna make it afteraaaalll", then BOOM. Atleast she handled it with grace and gave in to the slip; when I fall, I try to catch myself so many times to the point where it's just sad and I somehow travel to something to hit my head on the way down.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Today's Birfday: Larisa Oleynik (Alex Mack is 30)

Aka Bianca from '10 Things I Hate About You'. Also, if you're curious to see what she looks like now, Click Here.

Smug Tiger: Commercial Rewind: An Ode To Rhino

Smug Tiger: Commercial Rewind: An Ode To Rhino: "If I recall correctly, this commercial was included on the preview reel for the VHS of The Rutles that my Dad owned while I was growing up..."

Commercial Rewind: An Ode To Rhino

If I recall correctly, this commercial was included on the preview reel for the VHS of The Rutles that my Dad owned while I was growing up (circa late 90's; info for full effect, I guess). At sleepovers, my friends and I would steal it, just to watch this shit over and over again.

After years of forgetting that this existed, I had a flashback of it (while performing any number of the activities featured in the commercial, I'm sure); and had to find it to see if it was actually funny to me, or if it was pure immaturity. Well, both are true in this case..

P.S. I still know several now-grown-ass women who will giggle if you say "Children's Faire" to them in a monotone.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hello, Zack Morris Phone? Mark-Paul Gosselaar Is Back On The Market?

Yes, I know, divorce is never good news, but I also know of several lonely women in their 20's who will be sipping on Oil-Spill-tini's (I'm officially a terrible person) tonight, while they rehearse their dream wedding with their life-sized Zack Morris cardboard cut-out for their guests of honor (several cats). No judgment.

The 37-year-old actor's divorce from wife since 1996, Lisa Ann Russell, has been finalized today. Gosselaar filed for the big D last summer on the grounds of "dissolution of marriage". The couple has two children together and has worked out a private agreement for custody and spousal support, according to TMZ.

FREEZE. Do you think that maybe there's the slightest possibility that they decided to stay friends and then slow danced to a Michael Bolton song after they decided to call it quits? I mean, how powerful would that have been?
CLICK HERE for the full effect.

Today's Birfday: Lea Thompson (50)

RIP Jeff Conaway

A few days ago, actor Jeff Conaway passed away at age 60. He was know for his role as Kenickie in Grease, and as struggling/hot actor Bobby Wheeler in Taxi. 

Conaway had a long-time battle with drug addiction, and a full report can be read here.

Hopefully he's beating Crater Face in an epic car race showdown in Heaven's Thunder-road (Marty won't be there to drop that penny so he doesn't get hit with the car door and Travolta won't have to fill in).

In Case Life Made Too Much Sense Before...

...Or in case you enjoy watching your favorite rock stars in an oddly homoerotic music video/cover of a Motown favorite (Guilty); I hope you enjoy this 'Dancing in the Street' music video by David Bowie & Mick Jagger as much as I do.

*Totally Unrelated Sidenote: Cocaine must have been one helluva a drug...

Weekly Smug Horoscope, By (Dan) ArroyBro

Aries (April 19-May 13)
You are lucky in love, which is bad news for the old and infirm.
Taurus (May 14-16)
Keep shooting for the stars. That's a metaphor, genius. Put the weapon down.
Aries (May 17 and 18)
We forgot to include some people, so we tacked these couple of days onto Aries. Our bad.
Taurus (May 19-June 19)
We forgot to include billions of people, so we tacked this month onto Taurus. Our bad.
Gemini (June 20-July 20)
You are a cat person. Not that you like cats or anything; you think you have whiskers and a tail. Take your meds. Now.
Cancer (July 21-August 9)
All your thoughts and ideas are secretly broadcast to the rest of us on a worldwide network to be reviewed at our leisure, not unlike Tivo. The good news is, we would never, ever laugh at you directly. We save that for our weekly meetings.
If you were born on August 10, you have no zodiac sign. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Now go and find someone that can stand your ugly face.
Leo (August 11-September 15)
Keep doing the morning jog thing around the neighborhood, but sooner or later, you will have to start wearing clothes.
Virgo (September 16-October 30)
You can do anything you set your mind to. With nachos, I mean. Beyond that, forget it.
Libra (October 31-November 22)
Stomping your feet and holding your breath until you turn blue was an effective bargaining tool for a while, but seriously, you're like 37.
Scorpius (November 23-28)
As president of the "CHiPs" fan club, your life takes an exciting new turn as Erik Estrada calls you personally to make fun of you for being president of the "CHiPs" fan club.
Ophiuchus (November 29-December 17)
How's that new zodiac sign working out you? Because if you haven't been vaccinated by now, you are totally phiuched.
Sagittarius (December 18-January 17)
Your addiction to pizza borders on insane. Grab a salad and hit the gym before you spontaneously combust all over your friends.
Capricorn (January 18-February 15)
Your deep-seated fear of clowns is justified when several of them jump out of nowhere and tie you to a chair. What happens after that is unclear, but really, what can they do to you? They're just clowns.
Aquarius (February 16-March 11)
You are strong on intelligence, values and body odor. Especially body odor.
Pisces (March 12-April 18)
You think you're Al Pacino. Dumb guy coming through.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Smug Tiger "News"

Unfortunately, before blogging, I am a slave to 2 jobs so that I'm not flipping couch cushions for dollar menu items again (it's just a hobby now, not a necessity). So, I've had a stupidly busy schedule this week so that fancy rich people can enjoy their holiday weekend, but will be back at the madness tomorrow.

Today's Birfday: Rupert Everett (52)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Today's Birfday: Stevie Nicks (63)

Katherine Heigl Is Really Starting To Worry Me...

Not really because I don't like her. But I know my Dad does. The last time I wrote about her, my delicious pasta dinner was interrupted by him calling me and declaring "She's fuckin' beautiful and her outfit is COOL!".
Ugh. I could link a story about how awful she seems, but I'm sure if you google Katherine Heigl Bitch, you'll find your own way.

Also, I can't deal with that shade of blonde ON HER SKINTONE!!!!!! It's all so aging. The awful cut, the conservative-business-ranch owning mom (received the ranch in the divorce settlement thankyouverymuch)-western wear; Also, a safari jacket?? Wear the fuck does this bitch think she's going?? An African Rodeo Tour for 40+ singles?

Or to lunch in LA with her hot husband, I guess..

Amy Poehler's Senior Class Picture Is A Champion

..And somehow manages to look highly flammable.
The hair says, "Six thousand dollars? It's not even leather!", the gold chain says, "My parents don't approve of my boyfriend's ethnicity", and the entire thing says HERO.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Arnold's Wife Blew The Secret Love Child Whistle

Since Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted the story that the Los Angeles Times had printed accusing him of banging an ex-employee/maid and fathering a secret love child with her 10ish years ago. Now, according to TMZ, his wife (and Kennedy) Maria Shriver is the one who leaked the story to the presses. The story goes that once Arnold admitted the truth to Maria, she got super pissed and swore VENGEANCE.

A source told TMZ that at first, Shriver wanted to air Arnold's dirty laundry in a press conference, but was talked out of that dumb ass move, and she was advised to keep it classier by leaking the story to the LA Times. Also, Arnold has known it was Maria who sprung the leak.

I still think that Maria could take some cues from Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale (aka my friend's dad's favorite movie) with this whole thing. Shoop shoop.

Today's Birfday: Ethan Suplee (35)

A schooner is a sailboat, Stupid Head.

This Is Uncomfortble...

While President Obama has been touring the UK and Ireland, he fudged up at the Queen's royal banquet (buffet style?) in her fancy castle and it was super awkward.
Last night, he spoke over the national anthem, which I guess is a huge not cool to her Highness.
According to The View (ugh, I know...), I guess he was also seen as a Rudey McRuderson, for touching his glass before the fancy Queen did.

I'm assuming he was nervous, but it still hatched some awkward hilarity. 1. The Queen's dry-angry-memaw expressions. 2. Camilla's "Fuck, should I say something?! I'm skating on thin ice as it is!" expressions. 3. I feel like the editing is intentionally assisting the inappropriate lols...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Zach Galifianakis Doesn't Like January Jones

I've pretty much adored everything about Zach Galifianakis (with the exception of typing his fucking last name) since 2005 when he was in Fiona Apple's 'Not About Love' music video. So it's no surprise that I'm going to give him 100 HAHAHA points, after reading what he said about January Jones.
First of all, January has said in many interviews that she's a huge fan of his work, so that's what initiated an interviewer to ask Zach if he'd like to someday film a sex scene with her. His response:

"I wouldn't want to. I'd hate it. I've only had to do a few of those things where you have to kiss and stuff. It's so embarrassing."
After shooting down the idea of dry-humping Betty Draper for the cameras, he then went on to describe the first time they'd met:

"If I remember correctly, she and I were very rude to each other. It was crazy. I was at a party - I'd never met her - and she was like, 'Come sit down'. So I sit at her table, and [we] talk for ten minutes, and she goes, 'I think it's time for you to leave now'.

"So I say, 'January, you are an actress in a show and everybody's going to forget about you in a few years, so fucking be nice', and I got up and left. And she thinks that's funny?"

Zach has said before that he hate's being liked and that "popularity is poison", but I choose to believe that this story is completely sincere.

Champion Of The Day: Nyan Cat Man

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?! Though this seems nonsensical, I am CONVINCED there is a deeper meaning. At first you chuckle at this, and then you can't turn away because it is like a beautiful cat-poptart-person ballet. Judge for yourself.

Odds N' Ends

 This makes Katy Perry sound kinda bitchy (DListed)

Jennifer Lawrence as a brunette kinda makes me uneasy (Popoholic)

Russell Brand was kicked out of Japan (TMZ)

There's still a chance that Lindsay Lohan may bang your boyfriend (more likely if he's in a rehab facility or serving community service) (In Case You Didn't Know)

Yay, feud! Team Johnny Depp's Baby Mama fosho. (Celebitchy)

Kirk Cameron has a beef with Stephen Hawking and I miss 'Growing Pains'. Remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was on that show? (TMZ)

Stephen Colbert is a smart person (The New York Times)

Penelope Cruz looks like a delicious cupcake (GoFugYourself)

Today's Birfday: Ginnifer Goodwin aka The Exception (33)

Hello Again! Hosted by the Rapture

Sorry for the mini absence, friends (I know you were worried sick), I was tied up with important Business Woman Things.
As everyone already knows, we either have steered clear of the Rapture (or "Rapeture", as a sicko friend of mine has been calling it), or we're all horrible people and won't be done in until October.
Was anybody actually worried about this? Trust, I love a good biblical scare as much as the next person, but from what I gathered this date was predicted by a random Christian radio host. I'm too lazy to do the research right now to see if he's offed himself to prove he was right, gone into hiding, or is spewing out some kaka about how Jesus came to him last night and told him he'd spare the world because he wanted to see who won this season's 'Dancing with the Stars'. Ack, who knows.

Anycrazy, let's all celebrate with that damn Blondie song (rap + disco?) that's been stuck in my head constantly because of this nonsense.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I Can't Get Behind This Look, Sarah Jessica Parker

 Ugh. Do you remember when we all loved Sex and the City? Gone are the days when we looked up to 30 somethings who engaged in casual sex with as much thought or care you and I would would put into ordering and picking out a DQ Blizzard. Not that it wasn't quality television, BUT, it did encourage desperate psycho behavior (::cough, Carrie::), and the second movie was ridiculous. I mean, THIS (below). REALLY?! Liza, Noooooooo....

Anyway, fashion. The dress is nice. I like the color, and it's hard to have a bad fit when you have figure like that; however, it could stand to be hemmed up about a quarter of an inch.

Ok, let's discuss what we're all thinking about. THAT HAIR! It's not quite SJP if it's not bringing the fuckery somehow. Big hair has actually grown on me (hardy har har), but something about this seems off. Is it too stiff? Too blown back? Thoughts?? Mikhail Baryshnikov?? *Fact: Most fun name to say out loud.

Odds N' Ends

 Jennifer Love Hewitt might ruin yet another show and I might have to stop watching SVU, but that might be a good thing for my nightmare problem..dun dun (DListed)

Neve Campbell is getting a divorce, and it's 1996 again, because we care (TMZ)

CNN Anchor Man comes out. I know that he handled it really well, and it's great news for our progressive future, but my 2004 loving ass just immediately thinks of Champ Kind of the Channel 4 News Team saying, "You sound like a gay." (E! Online)

16 And Pregnant Regrets. That should probably be the new working title for that show actually. (Soup Blog)

I sincerely believed that Michael Bay was Henry Winkler in these pics. (GoFugYourself)

Today's Birfday: David Boreanaz (42)

Matthew Perry Ruins Everything

 So, the other day, Chandler Bing/Chalandeler Bong/Alex Whitman announced that he was taking a break for a bit, to go off and 'focus on sobriety'. Flashback: Remember how he had some drug issues when he was on 'Friends'? And not to encourage the bad shit, but got all bloated and less hot once he got sober the next season.. AnywayI'mAHorriblePerson, here's his official statement:

"I'm making plans to go away for a month to focus on my sobriety and to continue my life in recovery. Please enjoy making fun of me on the World Wide Web.”

See how he RUINS?! How do you make fun of someone who's humble enough to send you an official invitation? Eh..Umm..Uh..You suck, Matthew Perry; and owe me (and all of us) the fun you stole from making fun of yourself first. I flash you a Pete Campbell Sponsored Bitchface. Genius blog theme btw, he had me at "Christ on a cracker!" last season. That saying need's to come back, what does it mean?!

Vintage Of The Day: Kiefer Sutherland Tackling A Christmas Tree

Just 'cause. I know this was most likely during his time of alcoholism, and that it's almost sad, but it's also completely amazing. Who knew that Agent Jack Bower had such a grudge against Christmas Trees? It was probably talking shit anyway.
Also, I appreciate that the background opera singer man knew how to bring it during a climactic moment. What a pro.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Janice Dickinson Is Still A Mess

Ugh. This woman. Remember how on 'Top Model' she always kinda-sorta-encouraged eating disorders? I'll take a fat ass at 56 over this shit. Where do I start: THAT FACE, the tired-awkward-stretched boob sacks, 'The Machinist' inspired physique... THAT FACE!

Remember how on ANTM Tyra always kind of introduced her as "World's First Super Model" with a side-dish of Bitch, Please. I've never heard anything scream "Contractual Obligation" so loudly.That was one of the only times Tyty's delutional ass and mine were on the same bitch page. Also, any time Janice was on any reality show, she'd always find a way to bring up ANY EXCUSE to describe why she was such a f'in mess. Bitch doesn't know how to own it. Shame.

Can we talk about what she used to look like?!

Yikes. Her 2011 face (and body) has some hard miles on it for someone who will call a 120 lb ho fat.

Today's Birfday: Madeleine Albright (74)

Hot Funny Dudes In Tights. 'Nuff Said.

Yes, last night on SNL we had some JON HAMM, Steve Carrell, Andy Bernard, Jimmy Fallon, and Stephen Colbert goodness. You say outdated comedy, I say why is every tv-gay-dude always named Gary?

Thursday, May 12, 2011

In Shit That's Adorable News...

Some Russian dude made use of his adorable baby kitty things with: CRASH TEST KITTENS. Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Today's Birfday: Frances Fisher (59)

Yes, the hot-ass mean mom from 'Titanic'.

Basically, Bitch Bought A New Face

Ok, if you haven't heard yet, people are hollerin' that 20-year-old Bristol Palin has cut up her face and filled it with plastic things (melted Tupperware from the looks of it). Well, I guess she tried to make proud of the motto on the Palin family crest, and denied the whole thing at first; but now she has an excuse that would make Tori Spelling proud.

*In the 90's, Spelling got her first nose job when she was 16, claiming that she needed it to restore her sniffer after she was "attacked by a parrot". While I agree that parrots are hateful and scary creatures (don't wanna talk about it), something smells fishy.
(The combination of the words: "fishy", "Tori Spelling", and "Bristol Palin" is a total mood killer, btw).*

Anyway, Bristol told US Weekly that she had "Corrective Jaw Surgery", which happened to change the appearance of her face. Many have already compared this excuse to the "Deviated Septum" plea :::side eye to Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston:::

Here's a quote for you to roll your eyes at:

"It's not plastic surgery. I had corrective jaw surgery. Yes, it improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical my jaw and teeth could properly realign...I don't obsess over my face. I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature and don't have as much of a chubby little baby face. I wouldn't get plastic surgery unless I got in an accident or something terrible and got disfigured."

I shouldn't judge, I mean it's all fun and games until you are confronted with the kind of asshole who actually expects you to believe their bullshit story about how "nasal issues" made the doc chop off their dipping beak, or how their freakish sternum made them buy booby sacks, etc. Just be honest or say you don't wanna fucking talk about it; don't shit in everybody's mouths and tell them it's a delicious sundae. 

Guess What Trick Is In A Herpes Lawsuit...

 Blind Item via TMZ. Let the accusations begin!:

A new lawsuit obtained by TMZ alleges "An A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally" knowingly exposed a sex partner to the herpes virus. But here's the rub -- the suit doesn't name the celeb. According to the suit, the plaintiff -- who also is not named -- met the celebrity in Las Vegas April 1. The suit claims the celeb -- a male who is worth in excess of $100 million -- "entered into a nefarious plot designed to lure Plaintiff into his luxurious hotel room to serve his prurient desires."
The suit claims the celeb told the plaintiff he had "no venereal diseases." At that point, they watched porn and engaged in "mutual oral copulation, mutual self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other, play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse." And, it was all videotaped!
According to the lawsuit, filed by attorney Keith Davidson, it didn't end well, because the plaintiff contracted herpes. The suit claims the celeb knew all along he had herpes and lied to the plaintiff in order to satisfy his desires.
The plaintiff -- not identified as either a man or a woman -- is suing for more than $20 million.

*Hmm.. I always assume that these skanks are actors, but I always forget about the well-known slut breed of Professional Athlete. 
On a hunch, I'm going to guess that this could possibly be two dudes (why not?), and Vin Diesel is NOT A-List... Hmmm, back to the drawing board.
So many factors to consider: Gay or straight dude? Out or closeted? Travolta or Cruise?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today's Birfday: Danielle Fishel (Topanga)

She turned 30 today, and should wear this outfit everyday.

Hilary Duff May Be A Worse Actress Than We Already Knew She Was

Except for 'The Perfect Man', of course. That movie's amazing and features a Styx cover band. Win.
Anyway, TMZ just released the news that half of Hil N' Hay has just been dropped from the Bonnie and Clyde remake (which was a terrible idea to begin with; the whole thing, kill it, kill it dead and make it stop).

She must have sucked all kinds of bad, because sources say that producers are still going to pay her, they just want her the hell out of the movie. They are currently looking for a new actress to replace her.

1. Anyone stupid enough to cast Hilary Duff in a legendary film remake was surprised that she was a horrible actress? 2. Faye Dunaway was right and has won their dis-proportioned veneer showdown. 3. Since Faye probably isn't busy, she should just reprise her role; since she has a new face, it's like she's a whole new actress (who looks like she wears baby skin ON HER FACE) 4.Can't we just compromise and let Hilary fuck with Faye with a 'Mommie Dearest' remake?

Who am I kidding? Duffster couldn't hold a candle to this remake:

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Carlos Solis Drove With A Case Of The Drunks, Got Arrested

Desperate Housewives actor (and powerful goatee wearer) Ricardo Chavira was arrested in LA yesterday for suspicion of DUI. *From now on in this post, I'm going to address him as Carlos; because it just feels right.

Early Tuesday morning, Carlos was pulled over in a routine traffic stop, but cops smelled the sauce on his breaff. They performed a field sobriety test, which I'm guessing he didn't ace, because they booked him after he refused a blood test and/or Breathalyzer.

Update: He has been released after posting the $25,000 bail. *Random trivia that may have helped Carlos (probably not, I'm sure being on a tv show helps more), his real-life dad is a Texas Judge.

Oh, Carlos. How long are you going to go on like this; first you won't let Gabby and Bree carry on their painfully awkward friend affair, and now THIS? At some point, you MUST move past Mama Solis' death. I mean, she was kind of conniving with a serious gambling addiction, and she did play the villain stalker person in Selena (sadness). See, not so great. *Sidenote: That egg ring was ridiculous.

Seriously though, I love his character on the show. Remember when he was BLIND from a freak tornado accident (whilst fighting to the death with Roger Sterling)?! My friends and I would sing "Blind Carloosss", to the tune of Bailamos that entire season.

Today's Birfday: Will Arnett

No words, just pure love for GOB Bluth (even though I kind of look like I'm lusting after Amy Poehler in this) :::wink:::? Ok, I've officially crossed over to the bad creepy.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Is It Wrong That I Kind Of Believe Charlie Sheen?

So, with all of the Charlie Sheen/Tiger Blood/WINNING shit going on last month, I had just recently heard the (apparently well-known) tale that not only were Charlie Sheen and Kelly Preston engaged, but they broke off the engagement after he SHOT HER IN THE ARM in 1990.

Well, when I heard this story I was hungry for more details, but my hunt came up with nothing since both parties had been tight lipped for 20 years. WELL, crack must be a hell of a drug, because he has finally broken his silence.
According to Sheen, (as he said on his My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour) he told Tom Sizemore of all damn people, that John Travolta's wife shot herself. 

Long story short, he said that he was downstairs sipping on his folgers, and he heard a gunshot upstairs [Sidenote: he even made a side-splitting joke that he had initially thought that she'd finally done herself in. Pure hilarity, wow]. Anycrackiehumor, he said he went upstairs to investigate and found her naked and bloody from an accidental ricochet wound that occurred when she had picked up his pants in the bathroom, and his little pocket pistol (gross, not that one) went off.

This sounds slightly plausible to me, which is a little shaming. So far, Preston still hasn't said a word. I find this even more believable considering that Kelly Preston kind of always has that warped brainwashed-Xenu look in her eyes. She makes me uncomfortable. "Yesss, L. Ron Hubbard...." :::as she stares blankly into his scary Jafar stick:::

Rob Lowe Has A Juicy Memoir Out And Somehow That's Randomly Hawt

So last week Rob Lowe's autobiography/memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends, was released. Apparently, it's very blunt and candid, which I'm pretty damn excited about. As you may remember before his comeback on shows like 'Parks and Recreation', he was kind of controversial (sex tape scandal, nanny sexual harassment case, etc.)
Also, in the book he discusses his friendship with Chris Farley, and past bromances with Lord Tiger Blood, Emilio Estevez, Sean Penn, and John Cusack.

Hot. 80's, glamour, bromance. Let's do this.

These Guys Are Awesome

I saw this video on, and fell in love. These dancing fools prove that you can create a party anywhere; even on a dreary campsite in what looks like abandoned wooded ruins of the former Soviet Empire (though this is Spanish).

Today's Birfday: Christina Hendricks

Ok, I'm aware that not everyone watches 'Mad Men', but Joan Holloway-Harris has kind of become an iconic character within this current generation of television (boom); so Christina Hendricks is pretty recognizable these days (If not for her talents, then at least for her ta-ta's).
Anyway, isn't this angsty-Someone listened to The Cure a lot-picture of her from high school AMAZING?! Girlfriend still knows how to work a lip pencil, and is 36 today.

WTF Of The Day: 'Saved By The Bell' Oil Spill Episode

 Remember that episode where there just so happens to be oil underneath the Bayside High football field that was found while they were drilling for goal posts (imagine that!); making the school super rich with rich-people school things like diamond staplers? [Side note: Ummm... weren't these kids already spoiled as shit? Except for floral-attire-aficionado Kelly Kapowsi, of course. Her family was: Middle Class :::try not to all lose your lunch at once::::].
Anyway, they get super-rich after they sell their school soul (shit, does that exist?) to some oil asshole.

At any rate, shit turns bad when they want to move the football field over the pond that never existed outside of this one episode. Professional BuzzKill Jessie "I'm so excited!" Spano tries to get a petition going, but the rest of the school is probably desensitized and tired of her ass always making petitions for shit and it ends up being too late for the pond creatures; Especially the star of the episode, Becky the Duck (who I think was named after Mr. Belding's wife for some reason if I remember correctly?). Seriously, wtf?

*If this episode was too much of a downer for you, and perhaps reminds you of your pet duck that died in a freak oil spill accident; then I apologize with this oddly homoerotic picture of Zachary Morris and Albert Clifford Slater:

See, awkward 90's nips just make the world better.